The Public Perception of Kink and BDSM

On February 17^th I guest-hosted a Twitter Chat for Sssh.com called #SexTalkTuesday. I chose the subject and the questions for the chat and did my best to help keep us on topic. It was an incredible experience. I met a lot of new people, learned a few things and, most of all, got to participate in something that was both sex and kink positive.

The topic of the Twitter Chat was “What is the public perception of kink and BDSM?” I asked five questions and I’ve included some of the responses below.

Q1: Do you think the public’s perception of kink and BDSM is more positive or negative right now?

@DirkHooper I think it’s pretty positive. I’d be prepared to say that kinky is the new normal. But then, I’m a fan… #BDSM #SexTalkTuesday

— FapShows (@FapShows) February 17, 2015

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@DirkHooper #sextalktuesday. I think that there’s still a huge taboo and people who define it as abuse and only abuse. — TeeJay (@SpiralTWSSTJ) February 17, 2015

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@LettersForPlay BDSM does not have the overall stigma it once had. Everyone’s mom is talking about it! #SexTalkTuesday

— Dirk Hooper (@DirkHooper) February 17, 2015

 

Q2: Do you feel comfortable sharing your fetishes and kinks with friends and relatives?

A2: my friends know anyway,family…a little. Work colleagues would actually be much more of a problem. @DirkHooper #SexTalkTuesday — Mistress Emily (@MsEmilyPhoenix) February 17, 2015

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@DirkHooper Yes. For those who ask I have no reason to hide or deny my preferences. It can be a good learning opportunity #SexTalkTuesday

— Megan Stubbs, Ed.D (@SexologistMegan) February 17, 2015

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@AllAboutCondoms My friends know all about my kinks and even my parents have a good idea. #SexTalkTuesday — Dirk Hooper (@DirkHooper) February 17, 2015

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I started this Twitter and my blog as a way to discuss and learn about kink without family/friends knowing #SexTalkTuesday

— Lunabelle (@ninjasexology) February 17, 2015

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@runningfierce The internet has changed everything about BDSM… communication, education, opportunities… everything. #SexTalkTuesday — Dirk Hooper (@DirkHooper) February 17, 2015

Q3: Do you fear losing your job if your boss discovered your kinky lifestyle?

A1 Who I work for has no business getting up in my #sex life. It’s personal and none of their business. #sextalktuesday

— SexTalk Tuesday (@SexTalkTuesday) February 17, 2015

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Do I fear losing my job? No. Being passive aggressively shamed until I quit, yes. #SexTalkTuesday — Lunabelle (@ninjasexology) February 17, 2015

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@DirkHooper #SexTalkTuesday A3 Nope and if any employer fired me for PRIVATE bedroom pursuits theyd be sued so fast it would spin their head

— TeeJay (@SpiralTWSSTJ) February 17, 2015

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I do have friends who fear being outed all the time #sextalktuesday — Spankinresource (@Spankinresource) February 17, 2015

Q4: Does the entertainment industry provide and accurate portrayal of kink and BDSM?

A4. Too often, BDSM in entertainment is either a punchline or depicted as abusive. Fair representation is hard to come by. #SexTalkTuesday

— Lunabelle (@ninjasexology) February 17, 2015

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@DirkHooper Not every time, but I don’t think it’s their responsibility to since their main intention is to entertain #SexTalkTuesday — Megan Stubbs, Ed.D (@SexologistMegan) February 17, 2015

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I think the adult industry does a pretty good job with the #fantasy of #kink. #SexTalkTuesday

— Opening Gateways (@OpeningGateways) February 17, 2015

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A4: Do they ever get any sub culture group correct? #sextalktuesday — Fuckbook Mobi (@FuckbookMobi) February 17, 2015

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@OpeningGateways#SexTalkTuesday– yes, for sure it depends on the source! Hollywood + accuracy perhaps not as good of friends as are others

— LettersForPlay (@LettersForPlay) February 17, 2015

 

Q5: What can be done to inform the public about the positive aspects of BDSM?

A5 @Mollysdailykiss writes a blog we talk to as many people as we canincluding press on what BDSM relationships can be like #SexTalkTuesday

— Signs (@DomSigns) February 17, 2015

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A5: be proud,show off positive stories and role models,laugh off the #50Shades gags and own it. @DirkHooper #SexTalkTuesday — Mistress Emily (@MsEmilyPhoenix) February 17, 2015

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I think we have to reach out to mainstream media and explain our side of the equation. #SexTalkTuesday

— Dirk Hooper (@DirkHooper) February 17, 2015

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@DirkHooper #SexTalkTuesday A5: We all need to keep on keeping on! Our community is pushing #sexpositive views into the limelight every day. — LettersForPlay (@LettersForPlay) February 17, 2015

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Like it or not, 50 Shades is an opportunity to tell the story on BDSM and kink. #SexTalkTuesday

— Dirk Hooper (@DirkHooper) February 17, 2015

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@DirkHooper A5: It’s very easy actually: show real people truly enjoying BDSM, don’t portray them as freaks. #sextalktuesday — WeMadeLoveandLasagna (@MadeLoveLasagna) February 17, 2015

Thanks and Conclusion

This topic and the questions I asked are very important to me, since I’m a member of the BDSM community and I think things have changed radically over the last few years. Some of the things that have changed are exceptionally positive. Kink and BDSM are being addressed by every major news outlet right now… and in a way that is more respectful than I’ve ever witnessed (and I follow mainstream news very closely when it comes to kink, fetish and BDSM – and I share what I find on my site and on Twitter).

On the other hand, there are more people interested in kink and BDSM than at any other time in modern history, and there’s so much misinformation out there. It’s incumbent upon those of us in the kink, fetish and BDSM community to use this opportunity to correct the record where we can, to reach out to everyone and educate them to the best of our ability.

I got a tweet during this discussion that gave me an idea.  

@DirkHooper I feel I really need to explore this side of me. I need BDSM for Dummies. #SexTalkTuesday

— Mallory Flowers (@Mallflowers) February 17, 2015

I need some time to compile and do research, but I’m going to do a post on where to go for some solid information on BDSM. I’d welcome your suggestions on that topic.

If you have something to add to the questions above, please leave your comments below. Let’s keep the conversation going.

#SexTalkTuesday is a wild ride. It happens every Tuesday at 3pm Eastern time. The topics and the guest hosts change every week, but you can always participate by searching for the hashtag #SexTalkTuesday.

I’d like to thank Sssh.com and #SexTalkTuesday for inviting me to be a guest-host. I’m looking forward to doing it again sometime.